I’ve been reviewing the situation, and I’m not positive that it’s the right time to get another cat. I’m not positive that it isn’t the right time, but it’s no longer a sure thing. I looked seriously at two kittens while I was in Buffalo, and while they were great…I don’t know. Being home without Lancaster wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but every night when I turned on my bedroom light for a second I would expect to see her on my bed. I’ve struggled to explain this clearly, but I can’t fully grasp that she’s actually dead. While I was interviewing a potential kitten I noted to my sister that you sort of just know when you find the right cat, but I still feel like the only cat for me is Lancaster, and since I can’t wrap my mind around her no longer existing, and she’s just elsewhere, there isn’t any potential for another cat to fill that gap. (To be clear, when I say that it feels like she’s “elsewhere” I don’t mean reincarnated, or with me in spirit, or any of the (maybe better adjusted) explanations that people assume. I mean that it feels like she is alive, but somewhere else and being kept from me, and it’s frustrating. People take note on the importance of closure.) At the same time though, I want a cat. So there’s that. I can’t do anything just yet anyway, so there’s time to think about it still, but while it’s likely that I’ll be adding to my menagerie, it isn’t guaranteed.
Rather than going through with my plan to live off of Nutella last night, I decided to get takeout, and walked down to Freshii. I had never been there, but it looked good, and I was not disappointed. I ordered a bowl of brown rice with chicken and lots of odds and ends (you can add as many toppings as you want, so I went to town and got broccoli, edamame, spinach, carrot, cucumber, green apple, and some other stuff), and while at first it seemed overpriced, (and maybe it was), the portions are large enough that I still have leftovers, even after having it for breakfast.
I have high hopes for today- my friend and I are going to catch a hot yoga class, and then go to Trader Joe’s, and I’m hoping to be reunited with my hedgehog. I already started the day off right by baking a delicious loaf of thank-you bread for my pet-sitter, so my apartment smells great. I had planned on making the bread with caramelized onions, since I know he likes onions but rarely gets to eat them because his girlfriend hates them, but I decided to make it plain, and not rock any boats by giving him a loaf of bread that he couldn’t share with her, especially because she was the one to offer me his services in the first place. Plus (and this is important), since I didn’t make the no-onions decision until I had already caramelized some, I got to eat them myself, so everyone’s a winner.
If you have some spare time you should totally check out this video.
I know Dan Savage can be a huge jerk sometimes, but I like him anyway, and even more because he actually invited the guy into his home. And speaking of his home, how cute is it that they use jam jars as drinking glasses,? And the taxidermy bison head? I know that’s 100% beside the point, but I did love getting to see his dining room. The conversation itself was good, and I appreciate how they were both able to be civil, but maybe because I’m so firmly planted on my pro-gay marriage side, I thought Brian Brown came off as an oily jerk. Dan Savage isn’t going to be the one to bring gay marriage to the masses, but it’s frustrating, and a little mystifying that people care so much about relationships that don’t involve them. Also, the argument that “Boohoo if gay marriage is allowed people who don’t like it will be branded as bigots” is pathetic. If you don’t want to be branded as a bigot, maybe you should stop being one. Sheesh.