Needing and getting

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This has been a roller-coaster of a week. I’m kind of processing everything that has happened and that I’m feeling, but it’s complicated stuff, and I’m glad I have such good support in place.
My friend has a new girlfriend, and today she stopped by the library while we were studying to deliver a care package of some farmer’s market smoked salmon. He’s a lucky guy- no one ever brings me salmon, and he very generously shared it with everyone. I hadn’t given it a lot of thought before, but sitting in our study room devouring delicious fish it occurred to me that next year I’ll be able to go and catch my own salmon if I want. If I do, I’ll need to get a smoker, and then I’ll send fish to all my loved ones in the lower 48, which will hopefully soften their hearts to the whole living-in-Alaska thing. Whenever I think about it (the Alaska part, not the salmon) I get excited- it’s going to be so incredible, and in so many ways that haven’t even occurred to me, just like living in Baltimore has been wonderful in all kinds of unanticipated ways. When I picture it I imagine hiking, and snowboarding, and rock climbing, and kayaking. I see myself cooking fresh-caught fish over a campfire, and going to the Anchorage Folk Festival, and spending long dark days watching Doctor Who with friends. Things are crazy right now with finals and life stuff, but it helps to have all of that to look forward to.
I need to learn to knit. I think it’s a good skill for a doula and midwife, and I like making things. I’d also like to get back into mandolin, though I keep saying that and then not practicing. One of the thing that has been causing me a lot of angst lately is my dating life, and I think I’ve come to some important conclusions. I need to do the things that I like. It doesn’t mean I’ll meet someone while doing those things, and even if I do it doesn’t mean they’ll be a good fit just because we both like ice fishing or tap dancing. I just need to do them because they make me happy.

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2 responses »

    • Ew. I’ve been waiting for the Into the Wild jokes. Chris McCandless was the worst. If I don’t make friends with people who fish I’ll do a guided trip or take a class or something. It’ll be perfectly safe.

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