I had really high hopes for the dance last night- all the contra people hyped the band weeks in advance, and several of my friends swore they’d come along. I was convinced that it was going to be the best dance night ever…and it was! My friends actually bailed, which was a shame, because they totally missed out (I understand it, since it costs dollars and was raining, but I might give up on inviting them. They know I go every week, and if they want to come they’ll say so). I was kind of glum walking over, but as soon as I walked through the doors my mood lifted, because the band was incredible! It was a huge crowd- there were at least twice as many people as we would normally get, and several of them were young! Everyone was already dancing, and it looked like a pretty experienced crowd- I was actually pretty intimidated, and turned down several men who asked me if I wanted to join in the dance. These crushing rejections caught the attention of a Peter Parker-y looking young man, and he asked me if I’d like to be his partner for the next dance, to which I happily agreed (I’m ok once the caller explains things, but jumping in mid-dance is hard). Once I got going things felt terrific, and by the end of the dance I was booked for the next four songs (dance cards would’ve been helpful- there were so many people!), and feeling great about life. The whole night was a big happy blur- time passed unfairly quickly, and at the end I walked away with my first partner’s phone number, and tentative plans to meet up at next week’s dance.
I’ve been thinking today about a quote from the movie Amelie “A woman without love wilts like a flower without the sun, it rots”. I don’t know if that’s true, but I know that the opposite is- when I like someone I blossom. I think that’s what my partner noticed last night, and why I had so many requests for dances, and it’s made me feel pretty all day. I have a crush, and it’s big, and magnetic, and utterly pointless, because it won’t, and really can’t go anywhere, but it’s right at the beginning when it just feels wonderful, so I’m trying to avoid thinking about later when it will be terrible. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and it’s much more important for me to preserve my friendship with this person than to pursue them and ruin everything, so instead I’m going to channel all of this positive energy into being sunshine-y, crush-having Caroline in my day-to-day life. I’m also going to give this other guy a chance- he seems really nice, and he likes to dance, and I don’t need anything more complicated than that for the time being. It’s a little tricky, since my friend also contra dances, and I’m utterly unsubtle in how much I admire him (as we were leaving the dance one of my favorite old man partners told him that he needs to come more often because I stay the whole night when he’s there, which was a little embarrassing, but also true), but I’m going to try. It’s well worth the effort.