Last time

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The last time I moved was also the last time I saw my cat. I don’t know how that hadn’t occurred to me before, but it did today in church, and I actually started to cry, right there in my pew. The night before I left I stripped my bed, so we slept on a sleeping bag, and she stretched out next to my head. I had forgotten until my parents adopted their kittens how sweet it is when a cat rests its head on you and goes to sleep, but it’s such a trusting gesture, and Lancaster was always doing that. Most of the time I can think about her and feel ok- I don’t have a lot of regrets because I loved her absolutely and she understood that as much as cats can, but today I feel sad. I really miss her, and it keeps hitting me that I won’t see her again, and no matter how solid a goodbye I said it can’t make me feel better because I didn’t want to say goodbye at all. Fortunately, my friend Sam just called, and we’re meeting to study pediatrics, so I can’t just sit in my room (in my running clothes, because before I got into this crying-over-my-cat thing I was planning on going to the gym, so wore workout clothes to Mass, like an inappropriate person) and look out at the fog and feel miserable. It’s a good day for that kind of thing, what with the chilly, gray weather, but that’s just too self-indulgent. Instead, I have to wash my face, and get dressed in real clothes, and go be a functional person. I’m not sure I’m cut out to have pets.

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About turntowardsthesun

I'm a 23 year old Smith College grad, living in Buffalo, NY, and trying to figure out my life. I love to cook, and craft, and work out, and this blog follows my adventures while I do all of those things and more. Enjoy!

3 responses »

  1. I have known people who keep their dogs locked up all day and night in backyard kennels because their hounds are for hunting. Those are the type of people not cut out to own pets. You did good, kid.

  2. It’s not ever a bad thing to have a big heart for loving. Most really good people are like that. You are like that. I think you are quite wonderful.

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