When things were easy


I just got a paper back, and while I did well and am pleased I can’t rest on my laurels because the final for that class is on Wednesday and there is no such thing as a guaranteed A. I sometimes wonder if my grade in nursing school are lower than my usual because Hopkins is just harder, and grad programs will looks at where I got my BSN and go “Ohhh, she doesn’t have a high GPA, but look where she went! A B at Hopkins is like a million A’s anywhere else!”. You never know, but I kind of doubt it, which makes me wonder why I’m here instead of Affordable Nursing School U. Hopkins nurses are well-regarded, and we mostly pass the NCLEX on our first try, but this constant need for validation through high grades is exhausting. I’m certainly not sorry I’m here- I love being here, it’s the tops, but it would’ve been nice if I could’ve basked in my A paper for a second before my brain snapped me back to the tasks at hand.

Tonight I have to watch several online lectures that I should’ve done over Thanksgiving, prepare for my group presentation that we’re giving tomorrow, and go on a postpartum visit (my first! After I turn in the folder (and write a one-page reflection paper) I’ll be able to get paid for my Birth Companions work. This probably means that I’m not going to the gym tonight. I’m going to try to go tomorrow, but I have a study group at 9:00, and then I’ll be in Research mode until around 8, so I’d have to get up early, and it might be better to just sleep in so I have the energy to study for my Psych final (which is on Wednesday) after Research. You know what I miss? College finals. You wake up late, stroll over to the library, lounge in a big leather armchair while you review your notes, maybe hit the gym, and then go take your test in a room that you select that may have other people, but never had 160 anxious nursing students. Those were some good times. I’m happier here, but I do still miss Smith sometimes.


About turntowardsthesun

I'm a 23 year old Smith College grad, living in Buffalo, NY, and trying to figure out my life. I love to cook, and craft, and work out, and this blog follows my adventures while I do all of those things and more. Enjoy!

2 responses »

  1. Grad schools do indeed look at where you went and give it a great deal of weight. Also important: faculty recommendations.

    Grades are exhausting, but they are useful to some extent as a metric for your mastery of a subject area. They are not intended for validation, but students regard them that way. They shouldn’t.

    • I don’t feel like my grades do reflect my mastery of my various subjects though. I think I’ve learned a lot of things that aren’t included in the 50 multiple choice questions they give us as our chance to shine.

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