A second ago I caught myself looking at Facebook and thinking “I wish I had a husband”. While that’s perfectly reasonable, I did think that while sitting in my bedroom on a Friday night, so it’s not like I’m trying very hard (or at all) to change my situation. It does kind of bug me that I’m such a shut-in, but not enough to change my ways or into anything other than sweatpants when I take off my scrubs after clinical on Fridays. The holidays are a rough time to be on my own, and I always feel a little romantically lonely when I watch Christmas movies by myself, but it’s kind of par for the course at this point. At least I still get to go back to Buffalo for the holidays- this could be my last Christmas at home for awhile (people will insist on getting sick and injured on holidays, so they keep hospitals open and make nurses work. It’s so unfair).
Speaking of clinical, this week went perfectly (I always hit my stride just in time to switch floors). I had a great patient, and I actually felt like I did a good job, which was perfect timing, because just the other day I commented on how I didn’t feel as though I had improved at all since the beginning of the rotation. I’m not switching to psych nursing, but at least I have picked up a trick or two in the past six weeks.
This weekend promises to kind of stink. I overbooked myself tomorrow, with a prenatal and a day-long study session, and I’m still trying to squeeze in a couple of postpartum visits with moms. I have a ton of schoolwork to do, and exams to study for, and I don’t want to deal with any of it. On the bright side, things tend to de-catastrophize as they happen, so once I get into a groove of studying and finals-taking I know things will look up. Anticipation is not my friend when it comes to school.
The one fun thing I’ve decided to do this week is to make a lot of candy. I’m giving all my instructors homemade candy as a holiday present, and as a present to myself I’m going to spend a couple of hours on Sunday in the kitchen playing with burning hot sugar. I started last night with toffee, and it was a resounding success. I’ve made toffee before, and it was great (the first batch), and ok (the second), and this batch was somewhere in-between. It’s hard to recapture the joy of a new recipe, and just realizing how easy it is to mix equal parts butter and sugar and end up with a beautiful, delicious treat that wins you all kinds of admiration is enough to inflate my memory of how delicious that first batch really was. For my next trick I’m thinking candied ginger with lemon. I’ve made candied ginger before, but this time I’m going to use slightly less sugar, and add lemon juice and zest. Lemon and ginger are a match made in heaven, and I think it’ll be a hit. The final note in my trio of candies will be peppermint bark, because it’s so simple and beloved, but I don’t think it will be able to out-shine the ginger or toffee.
Lazy, antisocialness aside, I’m utterly bored. As much as it pains me to get dressed and put on make-up, I may need to find something to do tonight and go out.