One big push


I have to write a paper and sit for a test and then I can do whatever I want for a week (if what I want to do is listen to online lectures. At least I get to do it in my parents’ house). I’m tired, and I have some kind of mystery ailment (allergies? a cold? a sinus infection? an ear infection? Who knows, I’m just a nursing student), but I can be disciplined for another 72 hours and not only do the things I have to, but do them well.

Thursday was incredibly exciting, but recaps aren’t, so I’ll be quick. After clinical we had a simulation class at school, but my instructor let us out early to give us plenty of time to get to school and get food, and relax (it was supposed to go until 8:00, which is a long day, even for people who weren’t up all night at births). Instead of doing any of those things though, I went across the street the the hospital and attended another birth! I was lucky enough to get to be there for both of my moms, and I got to see two beautiful little girls be born in one 24-hour block. Both babies were very considerate and arrived around my schedule (baby #2 cut it close, but she came in time for me to get to my simulation). Now I’m addicted though, and want to spend all of my time in delivery rooms, forget school. It’s been days since I’ve seen a birth and I’m starting to have withdrawal symptoms. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m going to do after I graduate (it’s coming up scary fast), and I’ve been thinking I would like to work in an ED for a couple of years before getting my Masters in midwifery, just to shake things up, and round myself out a bit. Now I’m wondering if I want to do that. (I’m also really mixed up about where I want to live. My lease is up in May, but school goes until July. I was talking to my friend the other day, and she said she was thinking about sticking around for another year or two, and asked if I’d like to get an apartment with her and another girl from our class. And then she said we should all go to Brazil after graduation. That could be so nice! One of the things I’m dreading about school ending is leaving my friends, so it would be nice to get more time with them. I do like living in Baltimore, I just don’t know…) I thought that working as an L&D nurse would be weird and frustrating because they don’t get to stay with moms for the entire labor and they’re supposed to nudge the mom towards interventions that I don’t really believe in (gently, but nudge nevertheless), but I want to go to all the births. It doesn’t help that L&D jobs are very hard to come by, so if that’s what I really want to do I’ll have to be flexible about where I live. It’s all a little overwhelming, and really not what I should be focusing on right now anyway since I have more immediate things to deal with, but I can’t help looking ahead.


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