So I’ve gone for on top of the world to the bottom of the heap in no time at all. My home situation is terrible, and I just found out that I did really badly on a test. So, all in all, I’m glad this week from Hell is over, even though I’m going to be cleaning up after it for the foreseeable future.
The part that really makes me angry though, is that my exciting surgical adventure was totally overshadowed by all of my stupid garbage. I got to watch surgeons use screwdrivers and brute force to put a man’s face back together, and it was nothing short of incredible, but now I’m all focused on roommates and grades, and it kind of pisses me off. It was probably the coolest thing I’ve seen in nursing school, but I didn’t get to bask in it at all. It’s just plain wrong.
The roommate thing is too bad for the internet, but boiled down to its essence, I might be looking for a new place. I’m going to try to stick it out, but my poor test grade just reenforced how important it is that I have a good place to live where I can work and focus, and not be distracted by tension and drama. It would make my life easier if that place could be this place, but I’m not sure if that’s possible.
After things went completely downhill last night I realized two things: I do want a kitten, and I also want to learn to play the concertina. I never practice my mandolin anymore, so I need to get back into that to prove to myself that I can commit to another instrument before I’ll invest in one, but it’s something I’d love to play. The kitten thing is just a fact: I want one. I want one even more if I do stay, since I think it would help make things more bearable if someone other than Flora is happy to see me when I get home (Flora is lovely, but I don’t think she is actually ever happy to see me. Startled, yes, but happy? I think she likes me, but she’s most comfortable when I’m being very still and not looking at her). I’m going to wait a little bit though, since I don’t know what my plan is, and moving with a cat would complicate my life even more than moving during the middle of the semester when I don’t have a car would anyway, which is already a considerable complication.