And now comes the hanging in part. The part where I’m still sad, but I’m also managing. I haven’t cried all day, which was a step, and I’m ready to reintroduce non-pickle vegetables into my diet. Ice cream is no longer a viable dinner option, and when people ask me how it’s going I say I’m ok, because they’re not actually asking about Lancaster, it’s just a greeting.
I had my last Health Assessment class today, and because I’m super duper impressionable, now I want to get into Forensic Nursing too. I’m just adding it to the list, which includes Midwifery and Public Health Nursing, since everything sounds exciting and awesome. The thing is, they do all tie together, and I think I would be a better midwife if I had a better understanding of public health, and if I was really good at identifying and helping victims of domestic violence. I’d be Super Midwife! I need to talk to my adviser though, especially since my schedule is sort of up in the air still, since I haven’t heard back on whether I made the cut into the Birth Companions class yet.
We had a party today to celebrate the last day of lab, and I brought rhubarb cupcakes. If I had asked anyone they would have told me rhubarb cupcakes weren’t a good idea, but I didn’t, so this morning I found myself with a dozen leaden little cakes, and a giant vat of soupy rhubarb buttercream icing. It was bad, and I got a little angry, but I had promised to bring something, and I didn’t have a Plan B, so I chucked them into a foil-lined shoebox and washed my hands of the whole thing. In theory. In actuality I spent the whole day fretting and apologizing to people for my failure, since my cracks show more when I’m under stress, and so I’ve been even more neurotic than usual this week, but I knew there wasn’t anything to be done about the cupcakes, and I tried to accept that.
My diet has been truly terrible all week, and so today when I got home I decided to pull myself out of my funk with vegetables and spiciness. I got a cabbage in my CSA basket last week, and it’s been niggling in the back of my mind, begging to not be forgotten and left to rot in my crisper in the manner of other cabbages I’ve known, so I pulled it out and turned it into slaw.
It doesn’t look like much, but it was cabbage with a couple of teeny CSA carrots, and green onions, with sriracha, soy sauce, and apple cider vinegar, on a tortilla with homemade refried beans (for some protein, which has also been lacking in my all-sweets diet this week). Delicious. It could probably use some more heat, but it’s sitting in the fridge now, soaking up all the flavors, so it’ll be even nicer tomorrow for lunch.