I love riding the shuttle to school every morning. It’s a nice way to ease into my day, and it’s guilt-free pleasure reading time. I downloaded the e-book for Little Women a few weeks ago, and I’ve been reading it in little sips, and enjoying my daily dose of the March family very much. I’ve read the book a million times, but this reading is different, and wherever I am in the book seems to hold special significance for my own life. When I was dealing with the possibility of losing my beloved cat I was coincidentally reading about poor, tiresome Beth sloughing off the mortal coil, and while she was never a very believable character, it was nevertheless comforting. Now Jo and I are both feeling a little spinsterly, and wishing we had that missing piece of ourselves that allows other people to fall in love. So many of my classmates are in relationships (not to mention both of my sisters), but I haven’t met anyone who inspired any kind of romantic interest in what feels like forever, and what has actually been a year. A year may not sound like a long time, but it’s long enough to make me feel a little dried up inside, and so I completely feel Jo’s pain, though I can’t help being a little jealous, since I know she has Professor Bhaer waiting in the wings.
I signed up for OkCupid again, but I’m having my worst luck yet. Something about my profile is drawing a lot of married couples, and while I do try to keep an open mind, I know I wouldn’t be happy in that kind of situation. My classmates have jokingly offered to find me someone, but as well-meaning as they are, the idea fills me with dread. I wish things could be the way they are in books, and the right person would just appear, and I’d recognize them, without the song and dance of dating. For now though, it’s just me and Jo, trying to learn patience, and focus on improving ourselves so that if the right person never comes along we’ll still be ok. It won’t be the end of the world if no one ever shows up, but I do hope that isn’t the case.