Where does the time go?

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I hit a wall today. It’s too early in the semester to feel that way, but I was tired, and pissed off, and I felt like I had finally gotten to the point where I no longer wanted to live at home. I was done. I hated my classes, and professors, and job, and I just wanted to be somewhere else. I’m better now. I mailed my UMass application in, and turned in my time sheet for the week with lots of hours that will translate into dollars, and I got to pretend to be a witness for my dad’s class at the law school. I haven’t been having much fun lately. I’m lonely. I need to get out more and do things that I like, instead of the endless cycle of class, work, gym, tv, repeat. I do like those things, but they’re draining, and I need something that restores me. Pretending to be a witness for class was fun. I was a woman who had been injured at work, and I had to give my side of the story in a fake deposition. It wasn’t my favorite style of Let’s Pretend, but it was novel, and I got to talk to people my own age, and play around a bit, and I felt funny, if not terribly sharp (I didn’t have that much time to prepare, so I didn’t have a rich backstory and just made a lot of stuff up) or accomplished (I don’t want to go to law school, but I felt like such a slacker in a room full of people who are already working on their post-grad degrees). I want to be in grad school. Now. I’m sick of waiting, and I’m sick to death of worrying. I’m not going to start knocking people’s hats off just yet, but I’m itching for a change, and it’s going to have to happen soon.

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About turntowardsthesun

I'm a 23 year old Smith College grad, living in Buffalo, NY, and trying to figure out my life. I love to cook, and craft, and work out, and this blog follows my adventures while I do all of those things and more. Enjoy!

5 responses »

  1. When did you read Moby Dick? Or are you quoting Wishbone?

    When I was a witness, one of the students caught me off guard by asking my manager’s name. I stammered out, “Lisa … Nif… berger.”

    “Oh, yes, how is Lisa?” he deadpanned, and I got the giggles so hard the deposition was ruined.

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