The night before my A&P final I felt too jittery to sit in my room studying, so I went downstairs and made toffee. Incredible, beautiful, delicious toffee. It was my first attempt, and I’m not going to lie, flying solo on candy and having it come out tasting like mana from heaven made me feel like a badass. “What were people talking about when they said making candy is hard?” I thought to myself. “This is so easy! Maybe candy-making is my secret gift! Maybe I’m like the Harry Potter of making candy!”. Well…I’m not. I’m sorry world, but you are not about to be taken by storm by an up-and-coming young candy- maker. I attempted to make another batch of toffee last night (the first batch…vanished. I suspect alien involvement), and it was not good. I don’t think I let it heat long enough, or something, because it looks like I tried to make candy out of melted Barbie dolls, or beige crayons. It’s greasy, and sad, and the excess butter leached through the tinfoil, grossly. The failure was a blow, but I was mostly bothered by the waste, because I used a pound of butter to make that mess. My mom tasted it, and said that it wasn’t that bad, and we could still put it out for Christmas dessert, and it isn’t inedible, since it’s made of sugar, butter, and almonds, but I have mixed feelings on the subject. I want to try again, and if there are two batches of toffee, and one looks delicious, and one looks mutant-y, which do you think people will eat? And which will be left over for the hosts (us) to deal with and guiltily consume? At least our peppermint bark came out nicely, despite a slip of someone’s hand with the peppermint extract. It isn’t as pretty as professional peppermint bark, but its way cheaper, and once it’s in your mouth no one wants to see it anyway.
Our tree is beautiful. It looks fake. It’s all symmetrical and gree, and nice.
As promised, behold: Santa De-Clawed! She prefers wet food to cookies, and can walk through dollhouse doors, so chimneys aren’t a problem. Plus, she brings joy to all the good girls and boys. 🙂