Sometimes being painfully awkward can be a boon. Like when…ok, no, it’s always a pain in the neck. I can’t think of a single experience where I’ve been faced with a challenge and have overcome it with my inability to interact with people on anything resembling a normal level (sidenote: I once dated someone who told me that I am incapable of acting like a normal human being. And I wonder why I’m still single, when my taste leads me to prizes like that). The general lack of organization in my life frequently results in last-second lunch packing before work and school, and sometimes it just doesn’t get done, and I toddle off to start my day without any kind of mid-day sustenance. Sometimes that means waiting until I get home to eat, but sometimes I go out to eat, and today was one of those days. Usually this would mean going across the street to the library cafe, but today my mom was chained to her desk waiting for an important call, and craving pizza, so I volunteered to go get some and bring it back for her. Our building is actually connected to the grimmest mall in the world, so you can get to the food court without having to venture out into the cold, which in theory should have made this a simple errand. In spite of the fact that I didn’t need to go outside, I put on my coat, and changed shoes for what was supposed to be a quick trip downstairs. My awkward-sense must have been tingling though, because when I got in the elevator there was already someone in it, and he had pressed the button for my floor. I didn’t realize that though, and I couldn’t find the right button because it was already illuminated, so I just pressed the lobby button, and then even after realizing my mistake I rode all the way down to the first floor so this random stranger wouldn’t realize that I had pressed the wrong button. It can be kind of exhausting to be me. It was nice to step outside though, and I soothed my embarrassment with the fact that this way I was getting a little fresh air, and I wasn’t just wearing my coat and boots around the building like a crazy person. All was well until I got to the food court, which was a mob scene. The line for pizza was crazy, and they were taking orders for people way before they reached the counter, so I stammered out that I wanted two slices of spinach pizza (I am terrible at ordering food. It really just stresses me out, and I know it’s silly, but I can’t help it. I feel about ordering food the way teenage boys on sitcoms feel about buying condoms) without actually seeing the pies. This was a mistake. I got them to go, so I didn’t realize until I got back to the office (after another elevator mishap, where I got on the down elevator to go up, and had to go through the lobby again, (I wouldn’t have been surprised if the guard told me that the elevator is not a toy, Mr. Elephant)) that the pizza was in fact, horrible pizza of doom. Instead of tomato sauce it was made with Elmer’s Glue, and despite my best efforts I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. I hate wasting food, and I really hate wasting money, but it was inedible, so instead I had the lunch of free break room candy. Mmm…peppermint bark.