Dithering

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Crushes are lots of fun, even when they don’t lead to anything. Then again, when they do, and there’s flirting, and kissing, and getting to know the other person, and all that good stuff, that’s fun too. I’m currently being pressured to act on a crush, and I’m not sure I want to. Because what’s the best case scenario? I’m only applying to one school in New York State, and it isn’t close to Buffalo, so even if things work out and we hit it off, there’s a expiration date (and not a twinkie expiration date, more like a gallon of milk). And we’re both hugely busy. And there’s some distance to consider. So maybe I should just lay back and enjoy feeling crushy and girly, and channel those feelings into things like painting my nails and occasionally shaving my legs. But then, what if I’d be missing out on something awesome? I like distance. I like having space. I was really into a relationship that was almost entirely conducted through letters. But that’s just me- most people like to occasionally see the person they’re dating. Most people also like being asked out though. I don’t. It makes me feel stressed, and imposed upon (no one who I want to ever asks me out). So I haven’t made up my mind yet.

I have an embarrassing confession- I went running on Monday, and I’m still sore. I’ve been limping along, and navigating my heels at work today was not pretty. So I decided to go to yoga tonight. I hadn’t been in forever, but it felt amazing. It isn’t technically Bikram, but it’s pretty much the same thing. As much as I enjoy it, I’m not much of a yogi. I have a hard time getting my brain to shut up, and I can’t help laughing at myself when I fall out of a pose. Plus, I get kind of competitive, which isn’t really in the spirit of the thing. Tonight’s class was pretty packed, so I accidentally snagged someone’s foot, and the guy next to me sort of knocked me over, while the guy behind me kept accidentally touching my feet (poor guy, my feet are not pretty). It’s slightly gross, because we were all so sweaty, but it didn’t bother me. After class I walked home in the rain, and even though I had an umbrella I left it in my bag so I could feel it. I suspect I’ll still be sore tomorrow, but I’m really glad I went to class anyway.

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One response »

  1. I really like long distance relationships too. I’m like you, I’m always really hesitant to start something new, but I love the feeling of a new crush.

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