I am so in love with my mandolin. I’ve never really been musical, and I’m not sure that playing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” ad infinitum (it’s the only song I know so far) qualifies me as “musical”, but I’m having a ball with it. I love the sound, I love just sweeping my pick up and down the strings again and again, I love the little stripe indentations the strings leave in my fingertips, I love everything about it. Which is great, because it means that I actually practice, and so I feel good playing in my lesson, so I get praised, and the cycle contines.
Last night was really kickass. I didn’t make it to the gym (I was going to go after my lesson, but I just didn’t feel like it. I know, it’s lame, and I need to be getting in shape for the Turkey Trot, and spring rugby, and don’t I want to have nice quads? But I was tired. It was a long day. Plus, I went home and practiced mandolin for an extra hour, so it’s not like I was just wasting that time), but I had a great lesson, and then there was a doula support network meeting. We talked about all kinds of things, and everyone exchanged numbers so if they can’t make it to a birth they can call for back-up. We also talked about applying to nursing programs, and different paths to midwifery, which was really interesting. I feel good about my decision to become a nurse-midwife, but I know it isn’t the route that a lot of people agree with. There is a certain amount of working within the system that needs to happen though, and I think it opens up more opportunities, like Doctors Without Borders, than other kinds of midwifery that are less understood and accepted. Plus, I want to learn as much as I can, so once I’m established (someday), I can go back to school if I want, and get my CPM (Certified Professional Midwife- a must for homebirth midwives. I want to do homebirths, but it wouldn’t kill me to work in a hospital for a few years, and do homebirths as a doula). It was nice just sitting around and talking about birth last night. We ate nice chocolate, with sea salt and almonds, and discussed ways of preparing placenta, and shared birth stories. It was a good reminder of why I’m doing what I’m doing, and that there will be a light at the end of this tunnel. I’m actually having a good year, but I’m keeping myself slightly off balance so I don’t get too comfortable, and it’s nice to remember that someday I’ll be on level ground again.