What Are You Waiting For?


My freshman year I had a friend who decided very early in that she hated college, and so it was best to just get it over with as quickly as possible because then she would be able to do something else that she would like. Now, there isn’t anything wrong with knowing yourself, and it’s your right to not like something, but I was frustrated by her refusal to try to make the best of things while she was stuck in a situation that she couldn’t really leave (you can leave college if you don’t like it, you can transfer, like I actually did, or take a gap year, or drop out, but she wasn’t interested in these options). Instead of trying to make things better, she wallowed, which tends to make things worse, and not better. I eventually wrote her a letter, because I hate confrontation, and I told her that I thought this was a bad plan, and that she was waiting for life to start, but it was happening already, and her attitude was causing her to miss it. In hind sight, it was none of my business, and I shouldn’t have stuck my oar in when she hadn’t asked for my opinion, and to no one’s surprise, this letter did not go over well, but that isn’t the point of this story. The point is, that I have not been taking my own advice. I’ve been feeling very sorry for myself for not having a clear cut plan, for living at home, and not having a job, and not knowing anyone, but I haven’t done anything to make things better. I’ve been treating this time as Purgatory, and waiting for my real life to start once I go to Nursing School, or, Africa, or the moon, or whatever the next step is going to be. I’ve wallowed. I’ve watched a lot of Law & Order: SVU, and lazed around, and slept away half the mornings, and generally been a lump. And now I’m going to stop. Classes start this week, which seems like a perfect time to start pushing myself. I’m going to get back to the gym too- I think lack of exercise had a big effect on my doldrums.There will be occasional backslides, but I am going to try to be a real person, and actually live while I’m here.


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